30 comments on “Time Snatch, part 7. The End.

  1. Bravo! Bravo!
    An excellent story.
    Of course there were a couple of minor points that do not mesh with the ending sequence but they can be easily obliterated in the re-write.

    But the story was gripping, all the way to the end.
    Job well done.

    • Thanks, Terry! I’m glad you enjoyed the story. I’m looking forward to reworking this piece to do away with those parts that are inconsistent. Hopefully in the mean time the plot holes weren’t so glaring as to take a way from the overall piece. Thanks for taking the time to read through the whole story, and holding me accountable on a couple of occasions.

      • It was an ambitious undertaking and I’m glad to have witnessed the process. At the start, I had assumed you had written the entire thing before posting the start. That was gutsy.
        But I love writing a story that leads me along into territory far beyond the outline. That’s the stuff that makes writing FUN.
        Keep up the good work.

  2. First off.. your blog looks great, and I’m thrilled to connect with another writer! Thanks for commenting on my blog [AND BEING THE FIRST ONE TO DO THAT!] :D I look forward to reading more of your work.

  3. Great story, great ending! :D Applause for that. I love reading your work, really. I’m hoping if you’d read mine? beautifoolnightmares.wordpress.com I posted some stories and I would want your opinion. :)

  4. I don’t usually read sci-fy, but this was nicely done. I really liked the human emotions interspersed through the story-line — emotions that proved to be a critical turning point in the end. And I like how you begged the question at the end: What does it mean to LIVE (without knowing when you’re going to die)? :)

    • Dawn, thank you for taking the time to read through the entire series. I’m glad you enjoyed it! As I told some other, I’m not entirely happy with how I handled the ending (alot of information thrown at the reader with a bunch of twists, plus a couple plot gaps I left open), but I was under time pressure to get the story completed. In fairness to the story, and the reader, there should have been about four more scenes to give a more well paced ending, but I made the decision to save those scenes for when I do the rewrite of Time Snatch.

      P.S. I planned on having Hamilton use the gun when I gave it too him, but when I got to the last line, I decided I wanted to end the story on a happy note, which left the loose end of Hamilton in the hall with a gun doing nothing. I hate it when authors plant characters that do nothing, so I apologize for the mislead there. I’ll do better in the rewritten version, promise!

  5. This format is difficult to do a whole story — you did fine, given the constraints. I can’t wait to hear when you’ve fleshed this out into a full-fledged (novellla? novel? — you could totally do it. You have enough material and characters with some depth). Yeah, see Hamilton always seemed a bit reluctant to help them, so it’d be great if there was some follow-through with him. Not that I’d want anything other than a happy ending. I like those kind the best (if I get to have a vote). ;)

    • I’m thinking during the fleshing out process, the story will begin merging into the short novel, or long novella, territory. I’ve figured out how I’m going to bring Hamilton into the story at the end while still maintaining the happy ending, so I’m excited to work on that in the coming weeks.

  6. Very good story. Agree about the surprise-ish story line adds in the finale. Was also wondering if the call trace which gave them an element of surprise also went by the wayside because of the constraints of tryong to finish the story.
    Thank you for sharing your story with us.

    • Thanks for finishing the story. One of the barriers I ran into was getting all the twists and turns of the story sorted out in the last 2000 words or so. What ended up happening was skimming through some points that really deserved more clarification, and then just having to let some threads go loose entirely, ie Hamilton with a gun in the hallway..

      My intention will be to rework the piece, make it quite a bit longer so the ending doesnt come at such a rushed pace.

      As far as the call trace goes, I failed to explain that aspect of Malcolm and Denton’s relationship. My intention was to make it clear that Denton never needed to trace Malcolm, he knew all along where he was. The trace was for the benefit of Tom and Jennings who would carry on without the knowledge that Malcolm and Denton were going to elaborate lengths to make the meeting happen. If for instance, if Denton just went to the meeting without Tom, Jennings would have suspected something was amiss, and not shown himself. Tom is more unpredictable in that, if he knows about Malcolm and Denton before hand, he will consider Denton to be “the bad guy” and kill him. Now, what I did an abysmal job of explaining, was that the Division building was across the city from Hamiltons apartment, near the Bank that Tom was supposed to procure the hard drive from. Therefore, when he shows up at the Division Building, he is only a little bit earlier than expected, and not enough to make Jennings suspicious. I still don';t know if that makes sense, but it is something I will do a better job in the final draft. I promise in the final draft, the ending will be worthy of the story that proceeded it.

      • Thank for the reply. Good luck with the rewrite. That’s something I don’t have patience for. Although I’m not and never have been a sufferer from ADD, when it comes to writing stories, I have to move on.
        I’ll read more of your work, I like what I’ve seen so far.

  7. Wonderful job with the twists and turns at the end. You did shove a lot of info into the last 2000 words or so but I’m sure on the rewrite you can spread out the info to read more smoothly. Again, wonderful job, especially considering time constraints. As Dawn said, the human emotions really add to the story and draw the reader in.

  8. Hello!! Thanks so much for being kind enough to like a few posts on the Diary. I’m really impressed by your tenacity and the scale of your projects. Good luck pushing through to completion!

  9. As excited as I was to read this story through to the end, I think I’ll be even more excited to see how you re-work it now that you have things figured out. Excellent work, and I look forward to seeing it evolve.

    • Thanks for reading the series, Pomarious. I, too, am really excited for the reworking of Time Snatch. I think it’s shaping up to be one of my favorite stories I’ve written, so far.

  10. I apologise for only just reading the ending, but it was worth the wait. It took a lot of guts to post your first parts without having written the whole story. I really liked the feel of pace and being up against it you created in your writing. As I was reading it, I couldn’t help thinking it would make a great film.

  11. Thanks for reading one of my early posts. I hope to hear from you more in the blogsphere.
    I enjoyed this work, I personally love sci fi.
    I don’t want to deprive you too much of your time, but on Mondays I host a Narrative Craft “Monday”. Last monday was a little rant with a wonderful exercize. I’m thinking about starting a small (VERY SMALL) community of like-minded writers. You are a good writer, I hope you’ll comment on my work too.
    If you ever need an editing partner, I’m your gal. I apologize for this, like scam schpeel. I am just really excited to meet another writer!

  12. “which left the loose end of Hamilton in the hall with a gun doing nothing” I don’t see that as a problem. It’s a bit like the cooking range repair man who attached a wrench to the side of the oven and asked the owner’s little boy to hold it. It kept the little boy from getting under his feet, and at the same time, made the little boy feel important.
    If you ever publish this as a novel – paper or e-book, I shall be buying a copy. I loved it. It has everything going for it – drama, emotion, tension and a satisfying ending. All in all, a rollicking good yarn.

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