Wow, looks like I’ll actually be keeping a promise for once. As I boldly claimed yesterday, here is this week’s story.
INFIDELITY
Marcus saw him.
Just barely, out of the corner of his eye, but he saw him, earlier that day, and across town at that. The man had been sitting a few tables behind him at Café Rose while Marcus met a client over lunch. He probably would have gone completely unnoticed too if Marcus hadn’t gotten up to use the restroom.
At first, he couldn’t be sure if he the guy just had one of those faces, but now as Marcus crouched in his living room on one knee with the window blinds parted between his fingertips, he was sure. There was no doubt about it.
This was the same guy.
Why else would the man remain seated on the bench as three buses drove by if not for the fact that he was waiting for something else. Waiting, and watching.
It had been almost forty five minutes since Marcus became aware of the man sitting at his perch. It had been exactly thirty minutes since Marcus took up his kneeling position on the living room floor as he joined the man in his waiting game.
What the man wanted remained a mystery, but as Marcus let the blinds slide shut, he resolved to find out.
Marcus took the stairs two at a time as he made his way to bedroom. Stepping into the walk-in closet, he pulled open the top drawer of his dresser, and withdrew a shoebox. It felt heavy in his hands as he delicately placed it on top of the dresser. He took the lid off and stood there for a moment studying the contents of the box beneath the bright fluorescent bulb overhead. Slowly, he reached in, as if the box were full of snakes, and pulled from it the handgun his grandfather had given him before passing away. It had been years since he had held the weapon. Twisting the gun in his hand, he watched his reflection dance on the barrel of the shiny revolver.
It’s just in case. You can never be too safe.
The distorted image of himself in the gun simply stared back.
Marcus felt ridiculous has he lifted his arm absurdly close to his face in the low light of the alleyway to make out the time on his watch. It had been over four hours since he began stalking his prey. The man on the bus bench had shown amazing patience in his job of waiting and watching. Marcus had turned out all the lights in the house, pretending to go to bed for the night, before slipping out the backyard. A couple of hopped fences and a close run-in with the neighbor’s dog led him back around to flank the stranger still seated on the bus bench.
From his vantage point in a bush, he watched the man who occasionally shifted and spoke into a small recording device, though Marcus was too far away to make out what he might be saying. At long last the man finally rose from his seat and began walking down the street, away from the house. Marcus watched as the man slipped behind the wheel of an old BMW before Marcus made his way to his own vehicle. It was an exhilarating game of cat-and-mouse to Marcus. Doing his best to recall what he had seen in all the spy movies, Marcus did what he assumed all men in this position would do…he followed from a safe distance in his old Chrysler mini-van while humming the tune to Mission Impossible.
The cross town game of follow the leader had brought Marcus here, to this small alley way formed by houses built too close to one another, as he patiently watched the house the man had entered close to an hour prior. A debate raged within as to what he should do next. He still had the element of surprise on his side, and thought it best not to directly confront the man. Especially considering that he didn’t have a clue who the man really was or what he wanted.
Marcus had just resolved in his mind to break into the man’s house the next day during work hours when the front door of the house swung open. A warm halo of light fell into the street as a woman stepped onto the porch. Something seemed familiar about the woman, but from behind and in the dark, Marcus couldn’t quite place her.
That is, until she turned around.
Even in the dark, Marcus would recognize that face.
Erica? What is she doing here?
Shock gave way to rage as he watched his wife get in her car and drive away. Marcus’ muscles were a ball of tension, ready to lash out at anything and everything, as he stalked out to the middle of the street to watch the red taillights of his wife’s car fade into the distance.
Twelve years. That’s what he had given her. The best twelve years of his life, and this is how she repaid him?
By sleeping with another man?
Not only that, but that man has the audacity to sit outside our home, watching me, laughing to himself at what a pitiful husband I must be that I can’t even satisfy my wife. I might not have been the best husband possible, but hadn’t I always been good enough? What could this scumbag possible offer that I couldn’t?
Marcus shivered as the anger coursed through his body causing the hairs on his arm to stand on end. Reaching into his pocket he pulled out his grandfather’s gun and turned to the man’s house.
I need answers.
Resisting the urge to kick it in, Marcus held his shaking hand inches from the door before letting his knuckles rap gently against the wood. A look of fear, surprise, and recognition shot across the man’s face as he opened the door. Marcus invited himself into the house as he launched a foot into the man’s stomach. The man, middle-aged and slightly balding, writhed on the ground clutching his midsection as he struggled for air.
“So, you’re the one doing my wife?” Marcus said leveling the gun at the man’s head. He was surprised at how steady he was able to hold the weapon despite the adrenaline he felt rippling through his body.
“You’ve got it all wrong. She hired me…” The man let out a howl of pain as Marcus didn’t allow him to finish the sentence as another kick was leveled towards the man’s back.
Sure, kicking a man while he’s down isn’t exactly the honorable thing to do, but all’s fair in love and war.
“Please… call her, you’ll see.” The man said as he awkwardly crab walked across the room in an attempt to distance himself from the maniac with a gun.
“That’s a good idea, actually.” Marcus said pulling his phone out of the breast pocket of his jacket. “I think I’d love to hear her reaction when she finds out I found her little boy toy, if I can even call you that, I mean Jesus, just look at you. I can’t believe she’d choose a piece of crap like you to have an affair with.”
Marcus held the phone to his ear as he pressed the call button. There was a moment of silence, and then the ring tone began. A moment later he heard something vibrating between the cushions of the couch behind him. Dropping the phone from his ear, he knelt down to find the source of the disturbance. Sliding a hand between the couch cushions, his fingers grazed the edge of a small plastic box. Pinching it between his fingers he extracted the offending device and stared in disbelief at the purple sequined phone vibrating in his hand.
Marcus flashed across the tiny caller id window on the front of the phone. With a flick of the wrist, he opened the clamshell phone and ended the incoming call.
The realization that his wife had been sitting here on this very couch, likely making out, if not worse, with that pathetic excuse of a man caused his mind to overload with rage. Marcus was intent on making this man pay, making him hurt, as he turned around.
He only managed to turn halfway when a fist from the side caught him square in the jaw. White hot pain shot through him as he staggered a few steps until finding the wall for support with an outstretched hand. Everything in the room waved and contorted as his brain struggled to interpret the broken messages being delivered too it via Marcus’ damaged face.
Marcus barely raised his hands in time as the full weight of the man came crashing down on him. The force of the tackle sent the two men pin-balling against the wall. Marcus felt the wall give way as the two man buried themselves deep into the drywall before awkwardly toppling to ground. The combination of weight and inertia were on the side of the other man as they fell, and again the room dimmed as Marcus’ head bounced off the floor as he crashed to the ground on his back. As the splitting pain emanating from the base of his skull expanded, Marcus could have his head bouncing off the floor like a bowling ball sounded an awful lot like a gunshot.
The throbbing ache of his head did not subside as Marcus, lying dazed on the floor, placed a hand over his eyes. His mind abruptly pierced through the haze of pain long enough to remember the other man in the room who had put him in this world of hurt. Sitting up, the full horror of the situation dawned on him as he saw the man lying face down in a pool of blood much too large to be from anything but a mortal wound. Kicking his feet against the wooden floor, he propelled his body backwards to get as far from the body as possible before being stopped by the wall.
Using the wall for support Marcus levered himself to his feet.
What have I done? I’ve killed a man, in cold blood.
Well, not exactly cold blood. The man did attack me first. I was just defending myself, and it wasn’t even my fault.
I never meant to shoot him. That was an accident. If the fool hadn’t thrown himself on me he would still be alive.
Fragments of drywall cracked beneath Marcus’ feet as he crossed the room, making sure to take the absolute furthest path around the body possible. Marcus had never seen a corpse before. Not in real life at least. Somehow, television just hadn’t prepared him for the river of blood now running down the man’s neck, or the dull lifeless eyes that stared back at him accusingly.
Marcus leaned a shoulder against the wall as the blunting effect of the adrenaline began to wear off giving way to a sharper pain that felt like a white hot poker being jammed into the back of his head. Feeling his stomach clench in a knot, Marcus sprinted from the house and collapsed on his knees in the front yard in time to heave up the uneaten food and bile that refused to remain part of him any longer. The spastic retching sent fresh waves of pain to override his brain as he wiped the spittle from his lip with the back of his trembling hand.
Rising to his feet, Marcus brushed the dirt and vomit from his pants. He turned to give one last look to the man’s house before slinking away in the night.
It was late, and Erica had almost made it home before realizing she didn’t have her cell phone. Cursing herself for being so forgetful, she turned the car around and returned to James’ house. The normally quiet residential street was a bustle of activity as red and blue lights pierced the night sky. A spectacle of people stood amassed outside the police barrier as officers and paramedics swarmed around the house in question.
As she put the car in park Erica wondered what could have possibly taken place at this time of night in such a quiet area of the city to necessitate what seemed to be the entire police force. The night air was crisp as she joined the group of onlookers.
“What happened?” she said to the slightly overweight lady sporting nothing but a robe and pink fuzzy slippers beside her.
“They won’t tell us anything,” she said jerking a thumb in the direction of the police. “But Ron, from a couple houses down, says he heard a gunshot not too long ago. Something must be going on in there. I bet it was a murder.” The woman seemed far too excited as the word murder slid from her tongue Erica thought. Elbowing in closer, she had the realization of what house she was looking at.
“Am I seeing this right? Is that Mr. Reynold’s house?” Erica said turning back to the old woman.
“Sure is. He was a Private Investigator, ya know. Dealing with all sorts of criminals, I wouldn’t be the least bit surprised if one of them killed him.”
Erica felt an odd combination of relief and guilt at the news. Relief in the sense that only an hour ago she was in that house, and if what the old lady was saying about a criminal seeking revenge were true, then she was certainly glad to have been gone before anything terrible happened.
Marcus suddenly popped into her mind.
If getting shot wouldn’t have been bad enough, she could only imagine what Marcus would have thought when he found out she was at some strange man’s house in the middle of the night all the way across town. She let out a long breath as she thanked God for ducking both bullets, the literal and metaphorical one.
The guilt that gnawed at her was from the fact that people like herself, the ones suspecting their significant others of infidelity, were responsible for putting Mr. Reynolds in situations where a crazy ex husband or wife might come seeking revenge.
Erica sat in the mill of people watching the paramedics as they pulled a body from inside the house on a stretcher covered by a white sheet when suddenly she found an Officer standing next to her.
”Ma’am, please come with me.” He said taking her by the elbow.
“Wait, what’s this about?” she said as she attempted to resist the man’s pull.
“We have a few questions we’d like to ask you,” The officer said pausing momentarily to look her in the eyes. “in private.
Erica followed the officer obediently more out of curiosity than fear. The man led her through the front door of the house before depositing her in the hallway overlooking the living room. It had been almost two hours since she was last in that room, but in that time, everything had changed. Pillow cushions lay haphazardly strewn across the room beneath a large hole in the dry wall. It took a moment before her eyes fell to the large puddle of blood gathered in the center of the room. She felt the color and life blanche from her face as she stared at the ruby red liquid spread in a pool a couple feet across.
“What happened here?” she said testing out the words carefully as if they might betray the confusion she felt overwhelming her.
“Actually, we’re hoping you could tell us something about that.”
Erica spun to see the man who had spoken.
“I’m Detective Williams, and I’m just gonna cut through the shit. We have a guy out there, one of the neighbors, who claims he saw you here with Mr. Reynolds around the time the gunshot was reported. Care to comment?”
“Yes. Uh, that’s correct. I gue.. I hired Mr. Reynolds to do a job for me. We had a meeting tonight, but I left before any gunshots or…fighting.” she said letting her eyes scan the living room once more.
“Is that so? And what kind of job did you hire Mr. Reynolds for?”
“I… I, uh… I thought my husband…I thought he might be having an affair.” Erica could feel herself blushing even as she said the words.
“And?”
“And what?”
“Was he? Was he having an affair? Did Mr. Reynolds find anything?”
“I don’t know what that has to do with this.” Erica said lifting an arm to point to the room.
“Oh, I’m just wondering if you were happy with Mr. Reynold’s findings, if there were any.”
“No, if you must know, he didn’t find anything. I believe he said my husband was an ‘exceedingly boring, and yet faithful, man.’ Happy?” she said folding her arms across her chest.
“Me? Nah. I’m never happy. How about you? Did it make you happy to hear your husband was being faithful?” Detective Williams said brushing past her as he stepped into the living room.
“Of course it made me happy. Wouldn’t you be happy to hear that?”
“Depends on what you had to gain from your husband cheating, I suppose. Or what you had to lose.”
“Detective, I don’t know what that’s supposed to mean, but I assure you that I am very happy to hear my husband wasn’t cheating on me.”
Erica could feel Detective William’s stare eating through her as they stood locked in silence. After an unbearably long pause, William’s turned and knelt beside the pool of blood.
“Mrs. White, do you own a gun?” Detective Williams said bluntly.
The question took Erica by such great surprise that she struggled for a moment to find the word, “No.”
“Does your husband?”
“Not that I know of.”
“Are you sure of that?”
“What are you asking, Detective? You can’t possibly think that I had anything to do with this?”
“Oh, and why is that?” he said turning from the pool of blood to look up at her from his knees.
“B..b..because it’s ridiculous, that’s why. Why would I come back to the scene of the crime if I was the one that killed him? That makes no sense.”
“You’d be surprised how dumb most criminals are. Or maybe, how dumb they think we are. “
“Now you’re calling me names, Detective? I don’t have to take this, you know. I know my rights. Either arrest me, in which case I want to see my lawyer, or I’m out of here.” Erica said turning to the door.
“Mrs. White, before you go, maybe you could answer one more question.”
“What?” Erica said letting the word fly from her mouth like a barbed arrow as she remained turned to the door.
“Why is your phone here?”
“That’s what I was trying to tell you before you started calling me names. I came back here tonight because I forgot my phone after my meeting with Mr. Reynolds.”
“No. I mean, why is your phone… here.”
Erica turned to the Detective still kneeling beside the puddle of blood. She followed his outstretched finger as it pointed to the center of the pool. The light shimmered off the side of the purple sequins attached to the cover of her phone that sat amongst the blood like a tiny ship out to sea.
How did that get there? Erica replayed the question in her mind, but the answer eluded her. She was vaguely aware that this is the moment where she should be speaking, explaining this all as a misunderstanding, but her words failed her. As she opened her mouth, nothing came out but a shallow breath she wished had been full of words.
“While you’re thinking about that, Mrs. White, perhaps you’d also like to rethink your answer about that gun. Cause I’ll be the nice guy and cut out any of the guesswork. That right there,” he said pointing to the corner of the room nearest Erica. “that revolver is registered to your husband.”
Erica stared down at the gun in disbelief. The misshapen reflection of herself in the barrel of the gun only stared back at her.
“I want my lawyer.”
“Yeah, I thought you might say that.” Detective Williams said hoisting himself to his feet with a grunt. “Mrs. White, I’m afraid you leave me no choice but to place you under arrest for the murder of James Reynolds.”
“Sir, would it be alright if we came inside?”
Marcus eyed the two police officers standing on his porch. The pounding of his heart nearly drowned out the officer’s words as he struggled to act nonchalant. “Of course, yeah, come in. Forgive my manners.” He said swinging the door open. “Can I ask what this is about?”
“It’s about your wife.” The shorter of the two men said turning to face Marcus. “She’s been placed under arrest for the murder of James Reynolds.”
“What? Who is that?” He said pretending not to know the answer to his own question.
The more important question, the one the police didn’t even know they should be asking, was why his wife was being arrested for killing the man Marcus murdered less than twelve hours ago.
As he did his best to stand relaxed in the hallway with the two police officers, Marcus resolved to keep that little piece of information to himself. Marcus negated the smile threatening to break the husbandly concern plastered across his face as he listened to the officer’s recount of last night’s incident.
‘Til death do us part, honey. Just not the death either of us expected.
Thanks for reading everybody. As always, I look forward to hearing what things you liked, or hated. I’ll be posting the next story, “Time Snatch”, later this week.
Anthony
© 2012 Anthony Vicino

Wow, not the ending I expected! Nice details, well written. I found myself reading faster and faster to see how it would end. However, I wonder what Marcus did to make Erica think he might be having an affair and actually go so far as to hire a detective. We will never know …
wow… the ending was totally unexpected…. LOL Excellent…
Whoa! Talk about a nail biter! The twist at the end was both satisfying and irritating. Not an easy combination to manage. Congrats on pulling it off!
I love the ending of this, especially how the husband seems to get revenge for something that didn’t need revenge, yet seemed satisfied. The flow of this story is great and my pulse was picking up.
The only thing I would caution you on is over using the word had. For example, “had been 30 minutes” , “had held”, “had been four hours”, “had just resolved” could be respectively… ” Marcus kneeled for 30 minutes as he joined the man in his waiting game.”, ” since he held the weapon”, ” he started stalking his prey four hours before”, “he resolved”… Cutting out the middleman if you will.
Also watch the passive voice in” as another kick was leveled” It’s stronger and more active if you say something like “as he leveled another kick toward the man’s back”..
That’s all I have. I love it, keep it up!
Thanks for the great critique! I strive too keep the voice as “active” as possible, but there are definitely some moments that slip by me. That is truly one of those cases where an active voice would be so much better. Also, that is a good observation of my overuse of the word “had” in the story. I would like to think that is one of those things I would have caught if I had done a read through beforehand, but as often is the case, our habits are not so obvious to ourselves, so thank you for making me aware.
Exactly! I read through my stuff TOO much… My downfall is perfectionism. I found a typo in a bible once. Seriously.
Wasn’t expecting the ending – really enjoyed it. Thanks
Wow. Interesting story. Good luck with your work!
Thoroughly enjoyed this.
While not a comment about your writing – I’ll check that out soon – I had seen that you had liked the post I had creating a contest to win my ebook, “American Insurgent”. I would like to congratulate you, as you’re one of our ten winners! Just go to https://www.smashwords.com/books/view/263318 and enter the code, LC47T in order to get your free Kindle, nook any other popular ereader version of my novel!
Thanks so much for liking my post, and I hope you enjoy the novella!
Adam Maciejewski
Well done! I love a good short story with a sharp, crisp ending. You delivered. Thanks for liking my blog today. I’ll be doing some more exploring around here in the days ahead, for sure.
Thanks, Marcia. I hope you find some more of my stories to your liking!
So…that’s just weird.
I noticed you like my post this week and so I was all, “OH! Who is this? Short stories? Really? I’ll go check!” and I came over here and was impressed because I don’t think I could crank out short stories and put them up for all to see and I thought, “Wow! This is IMPRESSIVE! I shall skim this first story…WTH? ‘Erica’?? That’s me!? What’s happening here? I’m so confused!”
But I haven’t been able to read the story, yet, because I already used my lunchtime to goof off elsewhere. So! Tonight, after work, I will read this!
And thank you for visiting my place! I appreciate it.
That’s great… I hope the story was able to deliver on the excitement you felt when you saw your name used in the story!
Strongly…
Good twist, solid writing. Great for my insomnia!
Hi blogger! I just nominated and voted you for the Liebster Award
Check it out
http://emyotales.wordpress.com/2012/12/13/the-leibster-award/
Hi Anthony, thanks for taking the time to look at my blog. I thought I’d stop by and see what you were up to. You’re a prolific writer – I wish I had your discipline! I liked the way you kept the tension going in this story – it’s so hard to get a “twist” in a short story. Very inventive – good luck and keep entertaining!
I’m glad you enjoyed the twist, Helena! Thanks for stopping by and taking the time to read my story.
That was excellent!
This is so compelling. Normally, since I’m hosting a poetry prompt (dversepoets.wordpress.com) I wouldn’t be able to read through this, but just had to know what was going to happen. That’s good writing! Your blog name shouldn’t be weakly, though.
Thanks for stopping in and reading, Victoria. I’m glad I could pull you away from the poetry, for just a little bit at least. I hope you find another story lurking in these pages with the ability to pull you back soon.
Very nice!
A great read!
I started reading it and was instantly sucked in. I forgot my show that was playing on TV, ignored the phone when it rang and told my dog she would have to wait to go out as she stood by the door and barked for my attention. I did eventually get off the couch halfway through, but that was only because I recieved the warning for low battery on my laptop and I needed to get my charger. My dog was only happy for the instant she thought she was getting let out, until I disappeared into my bedroom in a mad dash for the cords. I just had to see what happened when Erica returned to the house for her phone! Great read! Wonderfully twisted ending! Can’t wait for the next one
This is one of my favorite comments I’ve ever received! I am very glad you found it so engrossing, though I doubt your dog shares that feeling with me. I hope you find some of my other stories equally engaging.
I enjoyed it oh so much! I took a break from writing to read for a change and I’m gladI did. I’ve been in kind of slump with my stories lately but you got me excited to get moving on them again. Thanks for motivating me to return to my awaiting projects and keep up the great work.
~O
I find that reading is the only thing that helps keep me motivated to return to my projects. If I stop reading, I lose all interest in writing. I’m glad that I could help inspire you to return to your works! I’ll be keeping an eye out for them in the future.
Reading is just what I needed this evening. Hopfully I will have a story posted next week. May I ask, how long did it take you to write this? I struggle so much with the writing process and mine are nowhere near the length of yours.
Do you know what your story might be about? The length of time a piece takes can vary depending on the type of story I’m telling… I aim to write at least 1500 words a day, though sometimes that can range all the way up too 6000. Infidelity is about 6000 words and took me about 3 days to write as I was trying really hard to preserve the twist at the end. Though with a story like Sun Burn which is 5000 words and an easier premise, I finished it in one day.
Wow! I wish I could write like that. I’m not sure why I struggle as all my stories are first-hand accounts of the explores I have been on. I know the story from start to finish, yet somehow I struggle with it for a week or more before it’s finished :/
We all write at different speeds. All that really matters is you find the time to sit down and put words on the screen. Even if you are convinced those words are absolute drivel!
That might be part of my struggle. I find the time every day, but I find I just stare at the screen because I can’t bring myself to write a sloppy draft, although I know it’s what I need to do. I guess I think too much and want it to come out the way it is in my head the first time around, so I walk away in frustration. I’m getting flustered with the piece I’m working on as we speak…
My advice is to just start writing without a care in the world for how it’s sounding.. just get it on the screen, even if that means using terrible punctuation and run on sentences. Just start writing and at some point you’ll break through the block and the words will flow like water!
You’re right! I’m going to try it! Just write. No worries about how it looks or sounds! I have to be to bed shortly so I will take the challenge to just get the story out completely before I turn in for the night. I’m going to go give it a try. Fingers crossed for me….I’ll let you know how it goes. Thanks so much for your support and advice
Let those fingers fly!! Good luck!
Really good! Makes you wonder how a jerk like that finds a wife in the first place..
I don’t get it. Not the story, the name of your blog. Did you mean weekly short stories?
It’s a play on words that I find amusing. It’s slightly self-deprecating cause I’m saying my stories are weak (not very good), and that they are short. I strive to post one story a week so that is the second meaning.
Well, at least Chekhov’s gun went off… and I liked the pink fuzzy slippers!
I loved this! You are a compelling writer. I could feel Marcus’s lack of balance and disorientation after the scuffle.
Thank you for visiting my blog.
Hi,
I found your story wonderful and interesting. If you are interested in submitting any of your short stories, including this one, to my up and coming online magazine which debuts January 15th, 2013 please send me a response or email write2bemagazine@yahoo.com
Ooooooh! Nice!
Thanks so much for liking my post… I just started blogging and I don’t really know how anyone will ever see my stuff. I’ll just keep writing, I suppose! I read a couple of your posts (it’s been a good way to spend my morning) and I really like it! Happy holidays!
Hello Anthony. Thank you for visiting my blog, and especially for the like.
This is my first attempt at writing a short story.
I liked ‘Infidelity’. I thought Marcus would surely come to Erica’s rescue. But well, I was surprised. I could imagine Marcus smiling a cruel smile inwardly when he thinks “Till death do us part, honey. Just not the death either of us expected.” Nice story!
I’ll have to take a look at that particular line. If it was a source of confusion, then it is something I should definitely tweak. Thanks for the feedback!
Hi. Thanks for the ‘like’ on my post ‘What is a ‘writer’?’. Whatever it is, seems to me you are one. Great story!
Nice work! I loved this part -”Marcus did what he assumed all men in this position would do…he followed from a safe distance in his old Chrysler mini-van while humming the tune to Mission Impossible.” – that made me laugh out loud. Don’t forget to proof read (sorry that’s the teacher grading papers in me)
Looking forward to your next piece and thanks for liking my blog!
I’m glad you enjoyed the story, and that line in particular! Proof reading is absolutely necessary, I agree, though with the stories I write for the blog here I don’t do any sort of proof reading, editing, rewriting, or even spell checking.. I post it in its most fresh and raw state, which has certain benefits for me, though the stories come out loose, with typos, and grammar issues at times.
I enjoyed the gripping suspense from the start of the story – it kept me glued to the end. The story leaves me satisfied and unsatisfied – which is a good thing because short stories do not always have to resolve all conflicts.
I enjoyed reading this story, and will be looking at your others. I love short stories! Thanks for visiting my blog.
Just a few comments about the writing. I liked how the story unfolded, you definitely kept us guessing. The plot is interesting and engaging, because I wanted to know what is going to happen, but the characters seemed secondary to the plot because I didn’t know anything at all about the main characters other than that Marcus had a gun and Erica’s phone was shiny and purple, and they both had vehicles.
Thank you for writing, I look forward to reading the others!!
Reblogged this on 2 Spooky 4 U and commented:
This is awesome.
A neat littls crime story!
It was quite riveting! And thanks for visiting my blog!
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Hi, I nominated you for the beautiful blogger award! http://caroljforrester.wordpress.com/2013/04/06/the-combine-beautiful-sunshine-award/